


call your boyfriend

by kenopsia (indie)



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 07:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5657074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indie/pseuds/kenopsia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yusuf calls Eames about a once in a lifetime opportunity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	call your boyfriend

“Just to be clear, you’re calling me to tell

you that you’ve cloned yourself.”

“Absolutely not. To use the word _clone —_ ”

“Okay, I got it, I don’t have the degree for the

hard sci-fi you started with. But level with me:

there’s two of you, yeah?”

“I don’t know that we would really classify him

as _me._ How imprecise. Anyways, what are you

considering _me?_ I mean. We do not have shared experiences.”

“I love my science boyfriend.”

“Stop sighing. This isn’t… I wouldn’t have even _called you_

but I know that this is like… one of your three top

fantasies and you’d never forgive me if I didn’t —”

“Don’t be so grumpy. This is literally the best

day of our lives.”

“The fact that you think that, unironically —”

“Yes, yes, you are very disturbed. Can I sit through

a bioethics lecture later? You wouldn’t have brought

it up if he wasn’t, I dunno wotsit, but you know.

How you decide if you can fuck a dragon.”

“Sentient and able to give consent.”

“That’s the one. Are we going to keep

Yusuf number two? Can I name him?”

“No, _no, no no._ ”

“He can mind the shop!”

“No, _no, no no._ ”

“Sounding a bit bleak over there.”

“...”

“Say it one more time if you like.”

“No.”

“Better?”

“A little bit.” 

“Anyways, I know that was out of line. You

love the shop. So. If _you_ wanted to be the one that

minded on the homefront, Yusuf Two and _I_ could,

conceivably have sex on location. Lots of locations.” 

“You cannot possibly be suggesting that you

go globetrotting with my … clone.” 

“Of course not. Unless… you … thought that

was a good idea?” 

“ _Eames!_ What the fuck is wrong with you? No, you cannot

_have_ … you are dating _me. Yusuf Prime._ I only called you

because I plan on having the situation dealt with by saturday.

So if you want to take advantage of this

unforeseen circumstance...” 

“Mate, I am literally stealing a car to get to the airport right now.”

“...” 

“...” 

“Love you. Be safe.”

“I was joking about the car.”

 

“You weren’t, but I appreciate the effort.”

  
“Love you. If I’m not there in thirty-six, assume I’ve died.”


End file.
